I dont care what you feel, anyways i wasnt born to Please you

I love the way people assume expectations, and without giving any hint of self assumed expectations, express a heart burn on the shatter and rattle of the hope jar.

Emotions are oligopolic. No one can assume to be a mortmain for it., they are expedient. Its always easier to castigate, but it takes lot of guts to accept criticism. I might be standing on a maginot line, even if I know it will not be able to defend me, it can still be a deterrent to others trying to offend. A cat closes it eyes to assume danger is gone because it cannot retract itself into its protective shell like a tortoise. After all I am also a human, normally very articulate when needed but when threatened or challenged, guttersnipe dialect and billingsgate dominate.

Its my right to disport myself to keep myself entertained. Talking good may be my legerdemain but talking true is my spirit.

Moving Ahead...

After an appropriate period of deliberation, I have decided to do my interns from KPMG.

I have been proud to work for KPMG over the past 7 weeks; it has been a journey that has provided me an unparalleled foundation to move forward to new and exciting opportunities.

As such, I have decided to become a professional pirate. It has always been a dream of mine to live the life of a swashbuckling corsair, beholden to none and master of all I survey. Once my crew of unabashed rogues is assembled, we shall take to the capacious expanse of the high seas to pursue fortune, fame, and hair-raising adventure.Our path may not be filled with the porcine comforts and technological marvels that KPMG provides, but we shall nonetheless move forward to carve a name for ourselves in the annals of bold insurgency and death-defying derring-do. Once I have a keen blade at my hip and the Jolly Roger is flapping high above me, I believe I will find my true calling.

If you want to come along for the ride, we shall plunder and pillage, and then we can sing songs about rum and chests (both - belonging to dead men and filled with treasure).

No SMOKE plzzzzz....

I thought I was so cool,
When I was nothing but a fool.

All I had was plans after school,
Getting high and wasting time.

Thinking life's a joke,
As I stood with my friends and smoked.

Although I may seem healthy from outside, inside i know its killing me

For anyone who thinks getting high is the way to go,
Those are the people I care to tell, plz no.

So take my advice and never think twice.
Stay away from drugs and you'll live a great life.

long awaited ....

of lately been tooo busy to reassure my cyber presense to myself...

no gr8 thoughts here.. no philosophy now... life has given a fast rollercoaster ride... that i'm still in the euphoria...getting started with a company of my own which seemed a distant future smtime back, landing up in an internship with KPMG promises a bright career, heart breaking disruption in marriage process of my dearest friend, esteemed dadaji getting a bad fracture got him stuck to his bed was a heart stopper, dad getting transferred to mumbai showed a glance of family staying toghter smtime soon, brother getting a job gave me the pleasure of seeing a satisfied smile on my parents face, went home n saw my moms tears filled eyes waiting to c me n arms spread to embrace me, broke sm dreams of sm gals waiting for me :(.... sm ppl came reknocking back...to reflood the future dreams of the past, sm newly made very special friends, a new professional network being build...n in the midst of this all ... n my cute lil sweethrt by my side...always reassuring me of my strength...

as i read back .. i find it funny as it seems a fast recapitulation of recent time...i had while i wasnt blogging....completed my 4th year of degree...will b senior in my coll... waiting for companies to arrive...or may b not...
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Critical Life...

A person is diffrentiated by his personality,
how he reacts to things...the external stimuli..
primarily driven by ID, SUPEREGO and EGO...
or as u say instinct, moral or logic...

Personalility is not all his own... it's deeply influenced by external environment...
the critical moments in his life... be it the time of stopping to suckle his mother,
choice of school, (un)friendly neighbourhood, or parental financial status...
then WHY is a person directly labelled with those..

IF a friend of mine doesnt spends enough money...WHY is he called a MISER by other in the grp...cant they just think that his parents might not be financially well off...

IF a friend of mine doesnt likes to go out for partying..WHY is he called a SPOIL SPORT by other in the grp...cant they just think that he might never had been taken to parties..n might b shying off ...

IF a friend of mine doesnt like riding a fast bike...WHY is he called a FATTU by other in the grp..cant they just think that he might have seen a deadly accident in the family because of fast driving...

Deceptive friENDS.....

Ever heard "FRIENDS in NEED.... r FRIENDS INdeeD"...
for sure u must hav.... but i recommend... pray to GOD ... wish for some sort of trouble quickly enough when u get a friend... to confirm their friendship status...

F**KERss!! a**ho*es!! blooody b***ARDS!!!! Pain in the A**... u must b wondering wat has happened to me..
believe me... i'm really frustated... coz i have been at the recieving end of deceptive friends...they stuck up in my A**...where it hurt the most..

the incident today made me think of classifying friends...
the best n the sweetest n everlasting are... those made in school days... when u didnt kno wat friendship was.. when ur mind was so tender ... that nothing doped ur thoughts... they r always there to help u ... listen to u.. n will always pull u up .. when u r down..

second category .. r those .. u make unknowingly... those people u came across u in roads of life.. n became ur friend...for no reason .. no bindings... no necessity.. u just start having a walk of life... unknowingly get ur hearts tied up..

the third n the most Fu**ing category... those bas***ds i'm talking abt.. happily with u in ur good times... when u hav lots of money to spend on them... lots of good talks to share with them... offer them free lunches... but when it comes to ur need... they ask...FRIEND!!! WAT Friendship???? they come to u ..coz they need u... to sustain themselves...something like..they r competitor to u..n come to hav a look at ur competitive advantage...always smiling ...ready with a knife to stab ur back.. mean... deceptive..hippocrites...i'm short of words to describe them....

the best of friendship doesnt come when u r happily togther, it comes when u are torn apart, down n out, burned, crashed to the last logs..u realise that despite this all ...the friendship still survives...

just one last word... never make ur competitor ur friend... coz u might think of him as a friend... but wait for the bad time.. he'll b the first one to stab ur back.. n hammer the last nail in ur coffin...

Strength.....

I'm instinctively strong... never needed a shoulder to cry... never needed consoling.. never even cried in solitude.. fully emotionproof. Stood hard, even in the worst times...faced all sorts of hardships in life.. Life hasnt always been same as now...

There have been many ups and downs in life.. seen painful days... struggled though them.. when there was no way out, made a way on my own. Friends say that these bad times have hardened me.. but i still claim that i have already been strong, else how would have i faced those times...

But the issue is not the strength... the thing is that am i emotionless... or need no support..
at times i feel that i need someone to ask me how i feel... i dont need consolations... but at times even i need a warm pat on my shoulder... but that doesnt makes me weak... but at times i would like to feel... that somebody is by my side..

But the question remains... do strong ppl require emotional support, moral boosting, consolations??? It is not that they require it... but they r also humans... they also have emotions.. feelings... so wat if they know how to control them...

lonely heart...

swhrt,
You know someone said that the world's a stage
And each must play a part.
Fate had me playing in love you as my sweet heart.
Act one was when we met, I loved you at first glance
You read your line so cleverly and never missed a cue
Then came act two, you seemed to change and you acted strange
And why I'll never know.
Honey, you lied when you said you loved me
And I had no cause to doubt you.
But I'd rather go on hearing your lies
Than go on living without you.
Now the stage is bare and I'm standing there
With emptiness all around
And if you won't come back to me
Then make them bring the curtain down.

My Tears part my eyes
roll down to meet my eyes
My cheeks try to stop them
awaiting the feel of some fingertips.

One tip stopping it,
one palm holding it
one shoulder to weigh it
and one embrace to let go of it.

My lips are full of words,
they wait eager ears
My hands already stretched out,
awaiting another pair.

I look around for my friend
but he is nowhere to be found.
and now i make a silent retreat
i myself again lonely sad and bound